Tuesday, July 10, 2007

How To Love Yourself (In An Unselfish Way)

Did you know that one of the most productive, constructive and beneficial things that you could is to love yourself in an unselfish way?

The ability to sincerely love yourself, as well as the ability to sincerely love love others and life in general, is far more important that any gift, talent, skill, calling or resume.

The problem is that most of us do not know how to love ourselves. We measure ourselves by our performance and by the opinion (and I stress the word "opinion") of others.

Instead, we many times remain isolated from others and, ultimately, lose our capacity to love. As such, our true self-love erodes, and we lose the ability to love, period.

Negative perceptions attack us with lies about who we are, false perceptions of what people think of us, and lies about what we believe what even God may think of us.

Unfortunately, there are many unloving perceptions that we wrongfully assign ourselves to undermine our self-esteem and our ability to trust and to love - ourselves and others

See how many of the following "unloving perceptions" prevent you from loving yourself - and then commence to eliminate them from your life and then start living your TRUE LIFE OF JOY. I know I recognize way too many of them in my own personhood.

So let us work together to "kick them out of our lives" forever.

Here we go:

SELF-REJECTION: You see yourself as the "non-person of the family"; you call yourself names, and believe that your opinions and preferences are not important.

SELF-HATRED: Your own misguided voice sometimes tell you that you hate yourself. As a result, your body/soul/spirit connection reacts with infirmities, auto-immune illnesses and diseases of unknown causes.

COMPETITION: You must always win and manipulate for self-promotion. You do not defer to others easily.

SELF-PRIDE: You crave a professional position, a relationship or material things to "complete" yourself or to maximize your potential. (The thing is: You ALREADY ARE complete; you just haven't realized it yet.)

SELFISHNESS: You are overly-sensitive to whether you are getting your share (i.e. of the love,) when you want it and how you want it. You take the exalted "I" and "I will" stance; falsely believing that you can live your life independently, by your own strength, with your own own talents, gifts and resources (and without needing anyone else).

REBELLION: You reject your IQ, appearance, body, parents, race, birthplace, etc.

ATTENTION-GETTING: You demand attention from people before they even have a chance to offer their love or at least before they can reject you. You are an easy prey for counterfeit love.

EXCESSIVE TALKATIVENESS: You are driven to dominate conversations with your opinions, needs, feelings, knowledge or just chit chat.

INSECURITY: You are easily offended, over react, feel devalued and take things too personally.

FABRICATED SELF: Your prematurely create a niche for yourself and tend to project yourself as more qualified than what you really are.

UNWORTHINESS: You fear that you are unworthy of blessings (based on your performance.)

SELF-DEPRECATION: You torture yourself by calling yourself names, cutting yourself down (as humor), minimize your strengths and maximize rour faults.

SELF-COMPARISON: You measure yourself negatively in contrast to the progress, blessings, gifts, talents and accomplishments of others.

SELF-ASSERTION: You are not asking for what you need; you demand with pressure, control or manipulation.

SELF-DECEPTION: You rationalize unhealthy reactions, beliefs and behaviors. You defend them when others attempt to tell you otherwise.

SELF-QUESTIONING: You constantly doubt your loving perceptions and abilities, and tend to believe that you will choose unwisely.

SELF-INDULGENCE: You are addicted to ineffective coping mechanisms like overspending, binge eating, kleptomania, drug abuse or therapy that "never seems to take effect!"

SELF-IDOLTRY: You obsess about your agenda, your needs, your successes and your "glory", instead of embracing your life's good balance, purpose and plans - and the "big picture".

PERFECTION: You only feel good about yourself if your performance meets the unreasonably high standards of others.

SELF-ACCUSATION: You refuse to acknowledge the progress or growth in your life, and you identify only with my past failures and project those failures into the future.

SELF-CONDEMNATION: You constantly view yourself as a failure, inadequate, inferior, unattractive, take the blame for all bad things that transpire, and feel unlovable. You believe that you are shameful because you are basically defective.

SELF-BITTERNES: You keep a record of your failures, withhold forgiveness from yourself, and resent yourself for being imperfect.

UNFORGIVING TOWARD YOURSELF: You have a false humility that tells you that it is more holy not to forgive yourself and that you should instead punish yourself.

NEED FOR APPROVAL: You attempt to earn "unconditional love and acceptance" (an oxymoron) by meeting the supposed expectations of others.

NOT NECESSARY/NOT NEEDED: You agree with devaluating condescending lies and conclude that you are not valuable and that your contributions are not worthwhile.

SELF-DOUBT AND UNBELIEF: Your disqualify yourself, settle for less, believe you are most unlikely to have success on any level of life and believe yourself to be unlovable.

SELF-DENIAL: You tend to exclude yourself, isolate yourself and suffer vs. asking for what you need.

SELF-ABSORPTION: You obsess on analyzing yourself, your interests, your needs, figuring out your own way or ruminating about your "issues".

SELF-ABUSE: You blame yourself, drive yourself with drugs or unrealistic demands, deny basic needs, volunteer for martyrdom, victimize yourself, are addicted to self-destructive behaviors.

SELF-PITY: You accept the identity of a victim, stay stuck in the past, become someone who is not healed, and insist that you should be pitied rather than believe that you can release your pain and make way for healing.

SELF-SABOTAGE: You "shoot yourself in the foot" because you are afraid to receive promotion, compliments or great opportunities. You disqualify yourself when you are afraid of succeeding. You push love away for fear of inevitable rejection.

If you find any of these false perceptions and out-right lies to be implanted in your mind, you have the power to renounce them in your life - and replace them with TRUE SELF-LOVE.

In other words, you truly have the ability to love yourself in an unselfish way.

Now CLAIM that ability.

It is yours and it always has been.

This affirmation, said every day, should help:

"I renounce and break all false agreements with anything that is less than love. I choose only to receive Love and give Love. Love fills every empty place in my life with Peace. I am precious, loveable, totally forgiven, unconditionally loved and accepted, completely apart from my performance. I choose to receive all the blessings that I have been afraid to receive. I am restored."

[Special note: This blog was inspired by the wonderful website, CROSS WALK LIFE, via this link: http://www.cwlinc.com/love-yourself.htm]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this. It really hit home. I say almost every single one of those things to myself everyday. It's gotta stop!