Saturday, September 29, 2007

"It's All About 'Timing'"

I've known many wonderful women in my life - and I've had many great relationships. Some have lasted six years, others six months, others still, only three days.

Then, there are the potential relationships that never had a chance...the many times awesome women came into my life and we never seemed to click.

I used to think those potential relationships never had a chance because I wasn't tall enough, or I didn't have enough money or because I cry at sad scenes in movies (sorry, but it's true - that's what I do).

But it's none of those things.

The great relationships that never transpired, never transpired because of bad timing - mostly on my part. In fact, for an actor, I have some of the worst timing on the planet. Not to mention, the thickest skull. I've had women flirt with me and come on to me, and I would be so oblivious to them - or think, "Nay - she can't want me. I don't have enough money for her" or "I'm too old for her" or "I'm not good enough for her."

None of that was ever true, but I would talk myself out of any pursuit.

Then of course, days or weeks or sometimes only minutes later, I would catch myself and flirt back. Or ask for her number - or just come right out and let her know that I'm interested in her. But it would be too late.

Again - I missed my timing - or didn't play by the unspoken three-second rule that potential partners play.

What's the three-second rule?

It goes something like this:

If you're out at a bar, or you meet someone at a party, and you sense a mutual attraction of any kind, from your end or theirs, you move quickly - within three seconds - to let them know you're interested. And you do that with a great "rap" - or a great opening line - spoken either by the man or the woman.

But those lines have to be sincere. They could be corny - but they definately need to be sincere.

Case in point: A few years back, I was swimming at Greenleaf Meadows - an apartment complex that I used to live in with my parents and sister when we moved from Erie Street. After my father passed away, and we moved from Greenleaf, I went back for a visit-swim, to catch some rays and try to regroup and be reflective on the developments of the previous weeks.

Anyway, as I'm reading my TV Guide, this beautiful blond goddess with the bluest eyes I had ever then-seen placed her towel about three feet away from my chase lounge. She smiled at me and said, "Hi." I smiled back and said, "Hello." There was clearly an attraction, despite the fact that I was reading my TV Guide. We talked a little bit, and I probably cleared the three-second rule just fine, but I was little down that day - and really didn't know if I had the energy to pursue this woman (or quite frankly any woman at the time), or to at least let her know that I was interested.

So, after an hour or so, she began to pack up her towel and leave. I sensed she was a little disappointed that I didn't ask for her number - or that I didn't ask her to at least have dinner. But I was about to fix all that.

As she left the pool and started walking towards her car, I dropped the TV Guide on my chase lounge, and sprung over to her and spurted out, "Excuse me - can I ask you a question?"

"Okay," she said.

"What's it like to have blue eyes?"

She laughed and replied, "I don't know - what's it like to have brown eyes?"

Don't ask me where that question came from. All I know is that I meant it, and within the hour, she and I were discussing the details of that question over lunch at the famed Schaller's resturant at the corner of Edgemear Drive and Beach Avenue. From there, we went on to have a wonderful relationship (that later ended because she left me for some dude with yellow teeth - but we'll save that part of the story for another blog post).

The best part of this story is the first part of the story - how we met because I made sure not to miss our timing and made certain to have my rap down.

In recent years - because of various challenges, mostly including caring for my Mom - I've missed my timing a lot - too much in fact.

The Universe has introduced me to many charming women who have let me know in one subtle way or another that they were interested in me, with each of them waiting for my response. But in each case, I missed my timing, didn't play by the three-second rule, or didn't have my "rap" down.

I've been so busy caring for my Mom, and pursuing my career - aspiring to secure myself with more money, thinking that, in today's world, that's what it's all about with women. I falsely believed that all they cared about was how much money you have, or what kind of car you drive, and rediculous things like that.

Don't get me wrong. Money is important - and we should all be concerned about securing our financial futures. But what good is all that success if you have no one to share it with - and if you keep missing your timing?

That said, the next "time" I meet someone wonderful - someone who I believe is interested in me - I'm not going to miss my timing. I might not be at a pool, reading my TV Guide. But if I see someone who catches my eye, and she catches mine, maybe I'll tweak my rap just ever so slightly, and ask, "How would you like to go out with a guy who has brown eyes?"

Monday, September 24, 2007

My Own "TV Land"

I was worried about myself there for a minute.

A few weeks ago, I wasn't as excited about the new TV season - or even receiving the new Fall Preview edition of the TV Guide. Truth be told, it's just not the same as the little digest format.

Then, I thought, "Have I grown-up? Matured? Lost passion for the industry?"

Well, of course I've grown up and matured. And yes - maybe in recent years I became a little jaded as certain creative projects that never transpired. But I tried to keep up my spirits.

Then, this morning - something wonderful happened. After watching a few TV ads and looking through the reworked TV Guide, I did get a little teeng and tinge of excitement - just like the ol' days...when I was a kid...or my twenties...or just last year.

So, I'm now looking forward to the new TV season...the new shows...and of course, shows like the new Bionic Woman.

Yes, I'm now a man in his forties - a mature soul with a child's who, down deep, will always appreciate the miracle of communication...and how the great invention of television may ever somehow, someway always provide a positive "outlet" for good programming - beyond PBS and The Discovery Channel.

And that isn't to knock those networks, but I think television works best when the viewer sits down in front of it, and is entertained by a quality, scripted regular "TV show," be it a drama, sitcom, adventure of 90-minute Movie-of-the-Week. That's one of the reasons why I created my TV & Self-Esteem Seminars - the lecture series that I bring to schools, colleges, and community and business organizations. These Seminars set out to fill the gap between pop-culture and academia, to prove that television, popular television, in particular, can be educational - in a fun, informative and productive way.

In many ways, television is an uptapped resource for education. And I owe my career to it.

That all said, someday, I hope to repay the favor - with a hit show of my own, one that is fun, somehow educational, family-friendly and, more than anything - entertaining.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A Tribute To Marcel Marceau

One winter evening, some twenty or so years ago, my good friend Andrea Whitcomb asked me if I would like to accompany her to a performance of Marcel Marceau - the famed international mime - who appeared here in Rochester at the equally famous and world renown Eastman Theatre. Because Andrea was and remains such a talented performance artist in her own right - known in some parts of the world as the Singing Mime, I of course accepted her invitation.

I knew how important it was for Andrea to attend Mesuir Marceu's performance. Me? I was not into Marcel. Oh, sure - I remembered seeming him a few times on The Merv Griffin Show or The Mike Douglas Show. But I never had a true appreciation for his art - that is, until after I viewed his astounding performance for the first time in person, this night at the Eastman. The show, I believe, went on for 90 minutes or so. And there I stood, sad and stunned into, well...silence.

After the show ended, Andrea asked me if we could go out into the small alley behind the Eastman Theatre, and wait to meet Marcel and get his autograph. I said, "But of course." I knew how much meeting him would have meant to her. Thoug, I didn't think it would do anything for me.

Once more, however, I was wrong.

That said, we indeed waited in the back alley behind the Eastman Theatre. And as I further recall, it was a long wait - in the brisk cold air of that winter night. What's more, it was only the two of us. No one else in sight.

Then, after thirty minutes or so, Marcel exited - in a long dark fur coat with a pleasant smile on his face, both humbled and estatic that what appeared to be his two biggest fans in Rochester were waiting to meet him.

Andrea chatted with him a bit, he signed our programs with delight, and then walked off in the cool night air, down that long dark alley, out into the street, assumingly towards the selected
hotel in which he was booked to stay for the night.

As both Andrea and I gazed at his gait, with his back to us, his walk became surreal, as he almost appeared to disappear.

Andrea and I, neither primed for the less dramatic, took note of the scene and smiled.

Clearly, it was a magical night, as Marcel Marceau was a magical performer. He had a magical walk, on and off stage.

And now, Mesuir Marcel Marceau has passed away into spirit. He has walked down the dark alley of life and stage for the last time, and yet happily, into the bright, white and ever so peaceful and silent - Light.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Alice Ghostley, Esmeralda on Bewitched, Passes Into Spirit

Alice Ghostley, the Tony Award-winning actress best known on television for playing Esmeralda on "Bewitched" and Bernice on "Designing Women," has died. She was 81.

Ghostley died Friday at her home in Studio City after a long battle with colon cancer and a series of strokes, longtime friend Jim Pinkston said.

Ghostley made her Broadway debut in "Leonard Sillman's New Faces of 1952." She received critical acclaim for singing "The Boston Beguine," which became her signature song.

Miles Kreuger, president of the Los Angeles-based Institute of the American Musical, said part of Ghostley's charm was that she was not glamorous.

She was rather plain and had a splendid singing voice, and the combination of the well-trained, splendid singing voice and this kind of dowdy homemaker character was so incongruous and so charming," Kreuger said.

In the 1960s, Ghostley received a Tony nomination for various characterizations in the Broadway comedy "The Beauty Part" and eventually won for best featured actress in "The Sign in Sidney Brustein's Window."

From 1969 to 1972, she played the good witch and ditzy housekeeper Esmeralda on TV's "Bewitched." She played Bernice Clifton on "Designing Women" from 1987 to 1993, for which she earned an Emmy nomination in 1992.

Ghostley's film credits include "To Kill a Mockingbird," "The Graduate," "Gator" and "Grease."
She was born on Aug. 14, 1926, in Eve, Mo., where her father worked as a telegraph operator.

She grew up in Henryetta, Okla.

After graduating from high school, Ghostley attended the University of Oklahoma but dropped out and moved to New York with her sister to pursue theater.

"The best job I had then was as a theater usher," she said in a 1990 Boston Globe interview. "I saw the plays for free. What I saw before me was a visualization of what I wanted to do and what I wanted to be."

She was well aware of the types of roles she should pursue.

"I knew I didn't look like an ingenue," she told The Globe. "My nose was too long. I had crooked teeth. I wasn't blond. I knew I looked like a character actress.

"But I also knew I'd find a way," she added.

Ghostley, whose actor husband, Felice Orlandi, died in 2003, is survived by her sister, Gladys

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

"Loving-Kindness" Is Still My New Favorite Phrase

A few posts in the past, I talked about how the term, "Loving-Kindness" had become my new favorite phrase. Well, it STILL is. Bottom line: Each of us is a Beacon of Light for the other. As such, we all need to cut each other some slack, expand our margin of error for one another, and be willing to begin again - whenever we get the chance. We have to be kinder to one another. We have to listen to those who are not heard...speak to those who are about those who are careless...reach out to those who are otherwise with those who work too hard...laugh with those who shed too many tears. We should give to those who only know how to take and keep...offer peace where there is unrest...and so on, so forth, and so good. This is the stuff from which true Loving-Kindness springs.

So, rise to the challenge, my fellow Beacons of Loving-Kindness today and every this moment...and in every second. In doing so, your heart will be replenished, you become a gift of grace to others, and your own life is blessed.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Release Of Herbie J's New Music CD: "Two"

I am proud to announce the release of my new CD, entitled, "Two." It features two songs for which I wrote the music and lyrics and was produced by George Schnell Productions.

See below for more details - and look to the left of the blog page for a peak at the CD's cover.

: )


Herbie J Pilato


How Can I Get Close To You (music and lyrics by Herbie J Pilato)

Pound Pound (music and lyrics by Herbie J Pilato)

Produced by George Schnell Productions, Rochester, NY.
Lead vocals: Herbie J Pilato
Background vocals: Herbie J Pilato
Guitar/Keyboards: George Schnell
Bass/12-String Electric Guitar: John Perevich
Drums/Percussion: Joe Minotti
Musical arrangement: Herbie J Pilato

Erie Street Entertainment Copyright 2007
2515 Culver Road
Suite 120-N
Rochester, NY 14609

Cover Photography: Sam Amato
Cover Design: Matt Hankinson

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Artist George Borrelli Appears At Clothesline

My talented cousin and uniquely creative artist George Borrelli, will be exhibiting his work at the Clothesline Art Festival Saturday September 8th (10 AM- 6 PM) and Sunday Steptember 9th (10 AM - 5 PM) on the lawn of the Memorial Art Gallery, 500 University Avenue, in Rochester, New York.

George, who's craftmanship and artistic vision is inspiring, eclectic and beautific, will be in Space 270 (O.S.C.C.) on the left side of the Gallery.

Please stop in and visit his new line of Gates and Accessories.

For more specific information, feel free to call George 585.589.4618 or 585.729-9619, or to email him directly via